The definition of a frame is a set of feelings and desires that you bring to the table any time you come into contact with another person. Now the interesting thing about frame control is that when two or more people interact, one person’s frame will overpower the other person’s frame and that person will usually get what they want.
Example: Think of a courtroom, you have a judge, two attorneys, and a jury. The two lawyers both have their own desires and passions, and the one who is adopted by the jury will win the case.
Technique: breach of authority framework.
This is a technique that you can probably use in a variety of situations but the best examples of it are those related to work situations.
If you’re in the business world, you’ve had experience dealing with someone who has a power frame because of their huge ego. This is the person who is used to getting his way, people are used to acquiescing to their desires, this is the person who usually does whatever he wants regardless of information or how it affects others. Power frame types tend to be oblivious to what other people think. Their ego is rooted in their status. Usually these are the people who have big titles or feel some nice entitlement.
If you communicate or negotiate with a power frame often, they will only listen for the first few seconds of what you have to say and then quickly make a judgment about what they are going to do. Inevitably in work and in life we have to deal with these types of people coming from this kind of ego that is driven by the power frame. However, the good news is that they are prone to frame breaking your strength because they don’t expect it. They expect you to disagree and obey. You will surprise them with this technique:
To break the power structure, use a mildly shocking but not unfriendly disposition. Do or say something a little defiant but at the same time be humorous.
When you’re both defiant and funny, a power frame character will be fun challenged by you and will instinctively know they’re in the presence of a professional.
ExampleSuppose you are a salesperson and you are in the conference room giving a Power Point presentation. While you’re in the middle of your bid, you realize that one of the key decision makers in the deal is giving you the veto on executing the deal.
Since you are real sale bro you are saying: “Hi Chris, that’s a great question, I’d really like to end this presentation because I think when you have the full picture of what I’m proposing, it will make sense to youThen you continue with your presentation.
After a few minutes, you notice Chris is playing on their BlackBerry and not paying attention to your presentation. Anyone who works in sales or negotiates deals for a living is familiar with this type of situation, now say: “Hey Chris, I just would hate to have to use my Jedi powers to take your BlackBerry from you while I finish my awesome presentationWhile you’re at it, make sure you’re smiling big at Chris Wolf and rolling your eyes a little bit when you say great show.
This line does a few things:
It’s a little shocking that you’re calling Chris out for not paying attention.
You’re funny saying you have Jedi powers.
By using positive body language and joking about the presentation being great, you are building a relationship between you and Chris.
Chris will now be very focused on you for the duration of the presentation.
So when you come across a power tire, be a little defiant or deny them what they want from you while at the same time being funny and friendly and you will win control of the tire.